Monthly Archives: November 2011

“Hello Fear”

I still get scared of what people think of me,
So I try this thing where I close my eyes and count to three;
I say to the Lord,
“Please help me be me, and let my true spirit run free.”

Truly touched with the words of Kirk Franklin‘s song Hello Fear’
I’ve taken his message on board and now allow grace to take care of me.
As well as take back from fear all my hopes and dreams.
After so many years of crying and hiding
With joy I sing along,
With the fire of hope lit inside me;

Hello Fear,
Before you sit down
There’s something I need to explain
Since you’re here,
I think I should tell you
Since we last talked, things have changed
See I’m tired of being broken hearted
So I made a list and you’re on it
All my hopes and my dreams, you took from me;
I want those back before you leave

Hello Fear,
I knew I would see you, you have a hard time letting go
See these tears, take a good look cos soon they won’t fall anymore
God’s healing my hurtful places
That seat that was your’s now is taken
I’m no longer afraid, see I’m better this way
and one more thing before you leave

Never again will I love you
My heart it refuses to be your home
No longer your prisoner
Today I remember
Apart from you is where I belong

(And)
Never again will I trust you
I’m tired of fighting, it’s been way too long
No longer your prisoner
Today I remember
Who I was and now it’s gone
They’re gone

Hello Fear
(da da da da da, da da de da dada)

Farewell. goodbye. so long.
Farewell. goodbye. so long.
Farewell. goodbye. so long.

Hello Grace,
It feels like forever, I thought my chance with you was gone
See your face, it reminds me of mercy
and plese let me say, I was wrong
Never knew your touch was endless
How you never run dry of forgiveness
Didn’t know how bad it was
Was afraid just because
Sorry Fear, Grace took your place

Never again will I love you
My heart it refuses to be your home
I’m no longer your prisoner
Today I remember
Apart from you is where I belong

And
Never again will I trust you
I’m tired of fighting it’s been way too long
I’m no longer your prisoner
Tody I remember
Who I was and now its gone

Farewell. goodbye. so long.
Farewell. goodbye. so long.
Farewell. goodbye. so long.

Hello Fear,
Something I need to explain”

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Where Were You When This Happened to Me?

Enlighten me with something from your imagination.
it doesnt have to be new.
it doesnt have to be surreal.
it doesn’t have to be extreme.
fill me with thoughts that take me somewhere the second after this moment passes.
playful, funny, serious or even dramatic.

How about this:

Like carefree teenagers, we’re climbing, barefoot, up a grass covered mountain. Blood full of determination to reach the top first, before you. The image of finishing the great climb is slashed as my winning steps are swallowed  by the muddy gulps of unstable swamplands. I turn to you and see you battling through rice fields of  provincial Asian surrounds. Although confused about our change of course, the race continues, and I am still determined to reach the top of the mountain first, as are you. I fight and make my way to the top once more. I turn and am pleased to see you trailing behind me; not bothered by this change. I smile watching you continue, still, with a carefree smile. I refocus and look ahead but stop to find myself in the back alleys of a ghetto-ridden street carpark. No mountain side. No you. Just me. Alone. why. No longer carefree. Just scared sh*tless.

An unknown, known person parked next to me screams profanities across the parking lanes at a non existent man. The air is intense. The man speaks with anger not fear. So I look across in the same direction at to see what’s got this man so fired up. But I am left with no time to react.  WOOM! BANG! CRACK! Fear whips me into the car so I can sit, front row, and experience the power of this blurry man’s swinging of  a baseball bat. My heart ferociously shakes me like an earthquake. But oddly, my concern isn’t for my life. It is for the car. I become angry at this man for cracking my, now, car window. A moment later, I become normal and fear for my life.

I decide to lock my door. He decides to jump onto the BMW convertible next to me and abusively decapitate it. Unsure of the reason why he pounded the value of out the car rather than driving it away. Unsure what happened to the owner of that car who was once standing next to me. Why I am even here. When will I return to my carefree mountain side race with you?

So, as this was happening to me, what was going on with you?

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Morning Love

Wrap those arms around me
as the sun lets its shine overrule the once night sky.
Music got me pumping with energy to revitalise the happenings of last night.
So let me run my fingers round your chest
Mix it up a little and give you a lick round your ear, kiss you down your neck.
Give you a dose of morning love, before i get on out of bed.

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neglecting this love

Many say keep busy. Just so I can keep you out of my mind.
They all assumed that it will take care of the pain.
Out of sight. Out of mind. Out of my life.
but it’s not the case.

Never did they mention what to do when I allow a second to stop
Never did they suggest topics to think about when Im staring at the stars at night
Never did they always stay with me cos when Im alone i think about you
Never will it be enough to neglect this love
it would never do

i dont think you understand how i feel about him
it doesn’t matter if we live apart
this love is strong with trust, no matter how great your fear
No matter what you try to do
neglecting this love, i will not do

tempting me with reasons to leave him dont phase me
the phone calls everyday lets me know how much he cares about me
i know its hard to believe that all this can be true
but its for me to believe, and for him and me to see this through
so please, stop forcing me to neglect this love cos i tell you now  i aint gone stop
cos every time i play your games
i always end up saying

Never did they mention what to do when I allow a second to stop
Never did they suggest topics to think about when Im staring at the stars at night
Never did they always stay with me cos when Im alone i think about you
Never will it be enough to neglect this love
it would never do

you may think that hes not enough, that he just wont do
but your not the one sleeping with a bleeding heart
needing to hear from him
hear him say “baby, i love you”
no matter what you try to do
neglecting this love, i will not do

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