I don’t have much to write at the moment.
I really want succeed as a writer so right now, creative writing has taken a backseat as I plan my next step to make sure I am doing what I need to to achieve my goals. At the moment, all of this thinking and research is draining any attempts for me to write something new.
Okay, that and getting ready for the NBA season to finally start! Not to mention Christmas shopping – so many countdowns!!
Well, I’m glad I’ve made it to this point. A challenging year of letting go of old habits (especially pride – and lots of it!), living by “screw it, just do it,” … it’s been tough. It’s also been fun. I want share my many stories of 2011 in styles that match the way they happened – unexpectedly, random and unique .
I wish God blessed me with a singing voice. Right now, I’m going through this lyricist phase of crafting my own songs. Playing them back so I can write these songs down is painful. I have to laugh to stop me from crying and cringing… I want to share them but this may take some time … maybe another night.
Bitter sweet misery. Happy to be changing but sad and scared to change completely. Swallowing my pride is such a daunting task after all these years of ‘standing up’ for who I am and do, regardless. I don’t like pride. It hurts.
I think I was more scared to be wrong or failing. I’ve bulldozed so many walls down. Being corrected and humbled is an embarrassing blessing. Admitting I am wrong on many fronts is belittling. But I am doing it. Pushing past every “Stop; too difficult” sign while constantly saying “I can do this!”