Tag Archives: perception

Caught in Between / Perception

It’s difficult not to be caught up with self-indulgences. 1st world.
It’s difficult not to be caught up with trying to be part of the famous 1st world. Developing countries.
It’s difficult not to be caught up with keeping the family healthy and happy each day. 3rd world.

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A Change in …

If colours were the visions I see
then let my hands let those colours be free
scribbled away from the tips of my fingers
my canvas full of the pieces that I have painted
in my mind
like a classic story
innocent as a child
presenting their moment on the fridge
in my heart I present mine
at this table the scribbles on this page arising
who knew
the inner me
an artist
a change in my night
a change in my day
a change in using coloured pens with pastels
I feel amazing
after a change in ..

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Love Happened (At Opposite Ends)

I’ve grown to love myself after so long of not loving myself at all. I pray to God to humble me, so I do not love myself any more than the people I care about, the people I meet, the people who stay for a lifetime or bump into for a moment to speak.

I still have so many insecurities. I still fight the shyness inside. I still have negative thoughts that could very well consume me if I didn’t pray to the Lord to keep me by His side.

I look at myself in the mirror. I can name all the imperfections I carry in life. My chicken legs, my gappy teeth, my one cheek smile, bend at the nose and eyes that naturally struggle to see clear; uneven breasts, stretch marks where fatter thighs and buttocks used to be. I’m slow at picking things up, but I will remember if we go through it slow. I realise now that it’s all just perception. There’s no need to see through negative eyes. Burn those scorecards, no more judging, let’s come and play, no need to hide.
This is my armour. It holds me strong. These parts give me the strength to conquer, repair quickly whenever I hurt and fail. I can flaunt to get attention. I can cover up and sneak away. I can relate with many people with what we have and don’t have without the need to be envying with hate.

I grew up with just enough material, making ends meet without the pretty bow ties. I’ve been through the splurge of buying more when the money came in but now I see that the wants are nice but how far do we go beyond our needs to self express and come alive?
I ponder and think about my life and what to do next. I feel I am at extreme ends; I want to explore the arts of life but half the time I’m tied to an office desk, chasing money for another instead …

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Will it Happen …

I was wondering whether there will be silence between us soon? Such commotions over past relations, past mistakes, past stories; will we ever get a moment to create moments anew?

Maybe if you place this jade necklace around our necks, beauty may come into our paths.

I admit I have been foolish to not realise the signs of your kind heart were dangling off you with depth and meaning. My naive vision too busy trying to be blinded by bright lights shining in the midnight lights of alcoholic parties. Who knew I could be so wrong with my perceptions of people. I thought these glasses were supposed to help me see it all.

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